Dr. Ichabod Hate University

Does the love of your life not know you exist? Did that filthy little manwhore Cupid catch you right between the eyes with a bolt? Are the ties that bind coming undone? Do you just need someone to talk to?

Send your most intimate queries to me, Dr. Adore, here at the Hateful Times office. I'll give you sound advice on all the aspects of that most puzzling emotion, Love.

- Dr. Adore

Dr. Adore,

I have a problem - the guy I love is totally oblivious and I don't know how to catch his attention. I've been told I'm pretty (tho my mother and sisters seem to think I need to be sexier) and I have plenty of brains to boot. I've tried getting involved in some of his favorite activities (he's a great football player) but so far that hasn't really worked (mainly because his friends seem to think I'm there to kill him or drain his essence and they try to kill me)

What can I do? I want him to know how I feel, but I don't want to get vanquished in the process

Signed,
Lonely and In Love

Dear LIL,

You sound like a clever girl, so why not try getting to him from an angle he's not good at? Instead of going out to play football, invite him inside to do a little studying. If there's something he needs help with, tutoring or becoming study buddies can give you the one-on-one time you need to really show him what you've got. Play it smart, and soon he'll be coming to you for all the answers!

As for those overactive boys: It's natural for his crew to be wary of you at first, they may think you're just there to steal him away. Making friends with them can be a great way to get them to trust you, AND if you find one you like, you can use him to get your man a little jealous. Never hurts.

Bon chans!

Adore

Dear Adore

What kinda advise could you possibly give to one whom has there eye on someone, gets the bats in there stomach and twists them ever so violently. But yet, never can get the bone to walk over and say "Hey... How -you- doin?" Its not like you see them everyday but you cant get them off your mind an when you do see them the world seems to stop.

Signed

Confused and Broken